Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
