do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
