I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
