I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
