I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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