we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
