Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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