im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
