when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
