her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
