doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
