Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
