I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
