were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
