i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
