plz talk dirty to me
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize