Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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