you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
