No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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