Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
