Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he puts the penis in happiness.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
