Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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