if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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