do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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