I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
