how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
