My friends, they love my intelligence
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
