so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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