I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
