Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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