spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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