i don't plan on having that self control this summer
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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