remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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