Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
