Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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