I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
