think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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