just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think people are normalizing furries
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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