it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
