Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
