i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
