is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
