no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
