She's JV to your varsity
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
