my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Two words: nipple clamps
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