Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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