hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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