my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
