I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
