How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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